Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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