I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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