He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
