oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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