Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
only you would photoshop your dick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
