his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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