Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just invented taco cereal.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
