Im at strip club and am horny
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize