It's Friday. Sex?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
