i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
