he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so explain again why im purple
no
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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