ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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