after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
