I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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