I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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