Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We need to rekindle our bromance
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
