my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
