i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
