he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
