Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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