he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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