if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
