Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
