He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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