Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
