If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
