he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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