i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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