four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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