another moral hangover. fuck.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
