she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
