Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize