May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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