Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
