My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
