There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
