yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
