I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
