i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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