I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize