I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
