Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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