I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
