Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
