I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize