I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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