Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
