are you so shy because you have an std?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
