$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
