I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just high enough for therapy.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
