WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
