Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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