I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
