i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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