Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
