it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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