Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
