A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
