What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
