I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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