She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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