super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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