Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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