and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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